Plotted
by RavensNic
Summary: Jane keeps her feelings for Maura locked up in her personal closet till one day she comes across a collection of lesbian romance novels that almost seem based on the two of them. These glimpses into how they could be together makes it hard for her to keep everything inside and it starts slipping out. A bit AU First attempt at FanFic. Mostly T except for ch 5 and later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is based on a tumblr prompt by argyle.s, I hope I do it justice. I will put the prompt at the end so I don't give anything away too quickly. I'm not sure how long the story will be, but nothing too long. This is my first attempt at writing fanfic, though I have been reading it for more years than I care to count. The story is a bit AU but hopefully not OOC. All mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the characters, not the idea, just the direction it all goes in.

Chapter 1

Jane walked into her apartment and quickly checked all the rooms and windows before putting her gun and badge away and grabbing a beer. Too many close calls and too many bad guys traipsing through that she could never seem to totally relax without clearing the apartment first. Tommy had Jo for the night since Jane was still on-call so all she had to worry about was dinner. After putting the call in for pizza, Jane went into her bedroom to retrieve the Kindle she kept in her bedside drawer.

Nobody knew how much of a reader Jane really was. It was the one thing she kept for herself, the one escape from herself that wouldn't lead to recovery down the line if she took to it too often. They all had something. Frost had his MMORPG's, Korsak his animals, and Maura had her love of Arts and designers. Of course Jane like to throw the occasional literary reference out at Maura at times just to see that adorable look of surprise and joy she would get. But even Maura didn't know the extent of Jane's reading.

Besides, if people knew how much Jane read, then they would want to know what she read. And that was not a conversation she wanted to have. Jane bought the Kindle for herself several years ago for a couple of reasons. First, it appealed to her hectic schedule and impatient nature. If she wanted something new to read at 3am when she couldn't sleep, all she had to do was download something new. And second, and just as important, there were no physical books to find homes for or to hide from prying eyes. This freed her up to read whatever she felt like without fear of censure or exposure.

This had never been more important than in the past year where Jane had come to certain realizations about herself. She read several books on coming out and even one on being gay and Catholic. She was becoming much more comfortable with the idea and stopped being so defensive when anyone alluded to it, but that was a far cry from outing herself to friends and family. She would probably consider it if she thought it would stop her Ma from bugging her about grandbabies but she had a strong suspicion it wouldn't. Instead her Ma would just try to set her up on just as horrible dates but with random women. Being gay was one thing. Actually dating was another. There was only one woman Jane was interested in dating but the risk was too great. Right now she was content to just adjust to this new version of herself and spend time with the object of her affections without any pressure or chance of screwing up the best relationship she ever had.

Shaking that thought from her mind, Jane got up to answer the door. Pepperoni pizza in hand, she settled back on the couch and began searching for something new to read. Like her dinner choice, Jane was in the mood for junk food. Her last couple reads were literary and non-fiction. Tonight she wanted something a little trashy. She remembered the bodice rippers she had sneaked from her mom as a teenager and wondered if there were lesbian equivalents.

After a short search, Jane downloaded a sample of one that looked promising. It was about a UN interpreter who lives a solitary existence until one night she is mugged and saved by an off duty FBI agent. Jane started in on her second slice as she began to read.

_Catherine watched as Agent Craft swaggered over to the uniformed officers who now had the mugger handcuffed in the back of their squad car. Her long brunette hair flowed over her powerful shoulders and down the back of a well worn sweatshirt. Her running shorts showed off her long tanned legs drawing Catherine's attention with every step she took. The mysterious savior exuded authority despite her casual dress and the officers treated her accordingly. Catherine resolved to find a way to get to know this beauty better. She ran a hand through her blonde hair and looked down reviewing her own appearance. Her Vivienne Westwood dress seems unharmed, though slightly wrinkled but her brows pulled together in concern when she saw her Jimmy Choo's were scuffed beyond repair._

The physical similarities between herself and Maura weren't lost on Jane and the style seemed just what she was looking for. A nice safe way to exercise some demons that Jane wasn't quite prepared to think about directly yet. She bought the book and settled in for the night.

Jane woke to the sound of an incoming text the next morning. She groaned and flailed her arm about to find her phone without opening her eyes. She squinted at the screen and despite her body's overwhelming desire to still be sleeping, she couldn't help but smile when she saw Maura's name.

_Want to meet up for Yoga at 11? _

As Jane contemplated her reply a second text came through.

_We can go to lunch afterwards if you like_

As much as Jane would like that, or parts of that at least, she would be seeing Maura at the Rizzoli Family dinner later that day and she still had several chapters left in her book. Not to mention she needed time to separate herself and Maura from the characters so she didn't say or do anything stupid that might tip her hand.

_Sorry I__ have to run errands this afternoon. _

After she sent it off she could almost see the look of disappointment on her friend's face and it pulled at her heart. She sent a quick follow up text.

_But will see you at dinner. Still on to hang out afterwards?_

_Yes. I have a great documentary for us._

Jane shot off a reply smiling that she was able to smooth things over.

Her afternoon now cleared, Jane got out of bed and headed into the shower. She had six hours before she was due at Maura's. Plenty of time to indulge herself with the story that almost seems like it was written for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: First thank you to everyone who favorited/ followed and especially reviewed. (Special thanks to rehellams my very first reviewer) I am blow away by the response. For the Anon reviewer- the L in the text was a formatting error that's been fixed and the story Jane is reading is made up.

This story always had the possibility of moving to an M rating and I was wondering how people felt about that and would you like to see it sooner or later? (It won't change the basic story)

Again, thank you. Enjoy.

A/N 2- I fixed the formatting in this chapter in response to a review by Vez87

Chapter 2

Jane arrived at Maura's just in time for dinner. Instead of taking time to compartmentalize the very steamy story of Catherine and Agent Craft away from herself and Maura, she had gone back to reread her favorite parts that she had bookmarked. She was so caught up in fact, that it wasn't until she was rushing over to dinner that she forgot she needed an excuse more specific then just running errands to satisfy her friend's guaranteed questions.

She headed straight to the kitchen where her Ma was putting the food on the serving dishes and Maura was taking the garlic bread out of the oven. Catching Maura's eye, she smiled softly. "Hey Maur." She missed the blush that covered the blonde's face as she continued over and gave her mother a peck on the cheek. "Hey, Ma." Angela lightly smacked Jane with the small towel from over her shoulder.

"Don't 'Hey, Ma' me. You're late."

Jane looked back at her and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not late. Dinner 's always at five, unless something's changed?" She raised her eyebrow in defiance.

"It would have been nice if you were here a little earlier to help. Maura had to make the garlic bread along with everything else she always helps me with."

Jane dropped her hands to her side and shifted her weight between her feet, looking over at the Doctor. "Sorry, Maura."

Maura gave a polite smile and shook her head, "it's ok, Jane. Really-"

But Angela cut her off. "What was so important that you couldn't get here earlier?"

"Geeze, Ma. Nothing important. I just had stuff to do."

"Stuff? What stuff?"

Jane fought to keep the frustration out of her voice. "I had to pick up some stuff and I needed some target practice, OK?"

Maura looked down quickly, hoping Jane wouldn't catch the hurt in her eyes but it was too late. Was it that Jane supposedly went shopping without her or that she blew her off for 'nothing important'? Either way Jane knew she screwed up and needed to fix it fast.

"Hey Maur, mind coming out to the car with me a sec? I want your opinion on something I picked up."

Maura nodded and started to wipe her hands when Angela cut in again. "Jane. We're about to eat. Why don't you just show her after."

The Detective took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice even. "Frankie and Tommy aren't even here yet. And I want to show her now. We'll be right back."

Angela look like she was about to argue but Jane just stared at her and set her jaw. Angela made a shooing motion with her hand.

Once outside Maura was visibly subdued. Jane grabbed both her hands in her own and waited for the shorter woman to meet her eyes. "Maur, I'm sorry. My Ma just gets me so frustrated sometimes." This earned her a small smile and a raised eyebrow. "OK, most of the time. The shit I needed to do today wasn't important but it was necessary." She wasn't prepared to explain why it was necessary so she just plowed on. "You know you're my favorite person, don't you?" This time she earned a full smile and shy nod. Maura looked like she was about to say something when Frankie and Tommy pulled into the driveway. The brunette squeezed her hands before releasing them. "Come on. Lets get this dinner over with so we can watch this interesting" she rolled her eyes. "documentary you have picked out." When Maura laughed, Jane winked at her. As she followed Maura back into the house Jane tried to quiet the panic inside her chest. She winked at Maura. Why did she wink? She needs to get better control of herself before she sends her best friend running.

Jane felt relieved when dinner was over and it was just the two of them left in the house. Dinner had gone like always, loud and full of good natured teasing though on reflection she may not have been quite so good natured when it came to Tommy. But she could feel the bile in her throat every time he flirted with Maura. It's not like he didn't do it all the time and Maura had made it very clear to both Tommy and Jane that she wasn't interested. So why tonight was it so hard to witness? It was if that book had given her a glimpse of something and she just couldn't let it go.

The Documentary was on inventions from the Victorian Age and something that Jane did actually find interesting. Yet she couldn't seem to pay attention. Her mind kept flashing back to the book. There was one line that reminded her of Maura more than any other and she couldn't shake it. _"…She was fluent in three languages, yet felt misunderstood in all of them." _ She was pulled from her thoughts by Maura saying her name. "Yea? Sorry. I kind of zoned there for a minute."

Maura frowned. "I thought you would find this interesting. The birth of the modern detective and forensics."

Jane shook her head. "Yea, it is. Really. I was just thinking about something."

The Doctor tilted her head to the side. "What are you thinking about?"

The Detective's mind started racing. 'OK, keep it as close to the truth as you can.' She thought. "Well I was, uh, wondering how many languages you speak?"

"Including English?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "No. I mean other than English."

"Well then, technically three, since Latin isn't a spoken language anymore but I am proficient in reading and writing it. And there are some that I understand fairly well but I wouldn't claim to be fluent."

Jane's eyebrows shot up. She never ceased to be impressed with her friend. "OK. I know you speak French and Serbian, what else?"

"Amharic."

Jane smiled. "Oh, of course. I was going to take 'I'm heart it' in high school but it was all full."

Maura shook her head. "Amharic. It's the most common language spoken in northern and eastern Ethiopia. I picked it up when I was there with Medecins Sans Frontieres. Immersion makes picking up a language quite simple."

"Ok. First off, can't you just say Doctors without Boarders? Second, wow. Did you ever think of being a translator? Not many people can pick up languages like that."

Maura studied Jane's face for a minute. "Are you being sarcastic?"

Jane pulled back a little. "What? No, why?"

Maura looked down at her hands and twisted the ring around her finger. "Why would you ask that? I mean, what made you think of this?"

Jane's eyes were fixed on Maura's hands as her thoughts raced. 'Because I just read this really hot story where one of the characters who is a lot like you is one, and the idea of you speaking other languages in bed is a freakin' turn on.' No. "Wh-when I was driving over here I saw an old Yugo parked in someone's drive and it made me think of that cutthroat case. You know, where you translated for us with those women. That's all." She hoped she sounded convincing.

Maura seems to relax at that, which of course makes Jane feel guilty for how trusting she was. How comforted she was by the lie. But the truth would have just made her uncomfortable so Jane accepted it as all for the greater good of their friendship.

"No. I'm doing what I always wanted to do."

Jane gave her a brilliant smile that Maura returned. The two women easily fell back into companionable silence as they turned their attention back to the documentary after of course, Maura insisted on going back so they could see the part about modern police work. Jane was so engrossed she almost stopped thinking about Maura speaking a different language during sex. Almost.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to everyone who Followed/ Favorited and Reviewed. You have made this terrifying process of writing/posting my first fanfic enjoyable and rewarding. And TY to all the writers who posted before me, I always enjoyed your stories and talent but now appreciate what it took to put yourselves out there. And finally, but closest to my heart, thank you to my partner for her constant love, support, and cheerleading.

Now back to our regularly scheduled story.

Chapter 3

Monday morning they caught a case. It wasn't too hard to figure out the who, how or why but tracking down the suspect proved to be a challenge. Jane was angry and frustrated at their lack of progress and at herself for not being able to be there for Maura. Domestics hit them all differently. The detectives were able to channel their outrage into finding the abusive spouse, more times than not the husband or boyfriend, and bringing them to justice. But the M.E. had to go over and catalogue every ugly contusion, laceration, and broken bone on the victim. Speaking for the dead was sometimes a heartbreaking experience for Maura.

Finally, Wednesday morning they got a tip that the suspect was hiding out at a friend's house. For all of the violence he showed his wife, he came quietly. Jane had been hoping he would put up a fight. She told herself it was because of what he had done to his wife. But the truth was, it was how downcast Maura had been when Jane brought her coffee this morning. She had always been protective of her friend, long before she realized her feelings went deeper, but the past few days have been excruciating. The desire to physically comfort the Doctor had become painful. Jane had always been demonstrative with Maura, a characteristic of their friendship that was unique from every other relationship she ever had, but their touches had always remained safely platonic. Jane doubted cradling Maura in her arms and dropping kisses on her head fell into that safe zone.

After the husband had been sent to booking, Jane headed down to the morgue. Not finding the M.E. in the autopsy room, The Detective knocked on her office door before walking in.

"We got him, Maur."

The Doctor looked up from her paperwork and smiled. The smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Good. I know he was proving elusive."

Jane just stared at the top of her friend's head as she went right back to her work. Jane chewed at her bottom lip, unsure of what to say that wasn't placating or inappropriate. Finally she settled on routine. "It's almost one. Have you eaten yet?"

Maura looked up and shook her head. "No. I think I'm going to leave early today. I'm going to finish up here and head home."

Jane swallowed down her disappointment and tried again. "Want to do something tonight?"

"I'm sorry Jane. I think I'm just going to go home, have some wine and probably go to bed early."

Jane shoved her hands in her pockets. "OK. I better grab something to eat and head back upstairs. Got a ton of paperwork on this jackass still."

"Jane. Language."

"Really? That was probably one of the nicer descriptions I could have given."

Maura sighed. "You're right. Just make sure to grab something at least semi healthy to eat."

Jane chuckled, it felt good. "No promises. Call if you need anything?"

Maura smiled warmly at her. "You need your sleep too, Jane."

The sudden, very domestic image of them curled up in bed together flooded Jane's mind. She looked down to hide her red cheeks. "Yea. Night Maura."

When she first came clean to herself how she felt about Maura, Jane found it easy to accept that she could never have her in the way she wanted. There was almost something noble in the idea of unrequited love. Of denying herself what she wanted in order to preserve and encourage the happiness of the one she loved. That was true love, wasn't it? Putting the happiness of the other person above your own selfish agenda? Maybe it was her Catholic upbringing. Self-denial was honorable. Whether it was giving something up for Lent or a vow of poverty, self sacrifice for the greater good was the consummate goal. Hell, look at her job. She sacrificed her own safety and piece of mind so that others could be safe and blissfully ignorant of the evils of the world.

Jane opened her second beer of the night and stared at her Kindle on the coffee table. At this point she had reread her favorite passages of 'Tongue Tied' so many times, all she had to do was close her eyes and they would play out in her mind. But try as she might, she couldn't stop from substituting her and Maura for the main characters. One particular racy chapter popped in her head and she found herself ridiculously aroused. She shook her head and groaned. It was easier to be honorable when she was able to not think of Maura in sexual situations. She was absolutely attracted to her, but had always drawn the line at fantasizing about anything specific.

But now, the images were just there. In explicit detail. Maybe she should just find something else to read. Something safer. When she turned on the Kindle, Jane had every intention of looking for a book in a different genre but was immediately drawn to the recommended section. Same author, different book. This one was about a firefighter who was injured in the line of duty saving a family from a house fire and the Doctor who nursed her back to health. Jane already knew she would buy it but still downloaded the sample anyway.

_Dr. Connelly found herself drawn to the brash firefighter. For all of the brunette's bravado she shied away when the mother of the family she saved told her she was a hero. And then there were those quiet moments when Alex thought no one was watching and she almost seemed lost, confined to the hospital bed. The Doctor realized that she and the husky voiced woman perhaps had more in common then she had originally thought. Her shift had ended almost an hour ago, yet the idea of going home to her empty house no longer seemed comforting. Even sadder, Alex would be going home herself soon. Dr. Connelly composed herself and walked into the firefighter's room._

It was nearly 3am when Jane's eyes couldn't hold their focus anymore. She was over half finished the book, and despite her exhaustion from the past few days, she was still hesitant to go to bed. Rubbing her face with her hand she groaned. It's bed now or wake up with a sore neck from falling asleep on the couch. Reluctantly she turned off the Kindle and closed the cover. Hopefully she wouldn't catch a case tomorrow so she could come home at a decent enough hour to finish the book and catch up on the sleep she forfeited tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I am trying really hard to just write basic descriptions of characters for the stories within the story but since almost every scenario that reflects their basic personalities has been covered at one time or another in this fandom some may seem familiar. Any similarities are entirely accidental. Though if you do want a good Dr./patient Rizzles story I recommend Blurred Lines by Rizzleslovr72- it's a great read.

Thanks again for everyone who followed/favorited/ and reviewed. I am changing the story rating to M for this chapter just to be safe. Future chapters may move to solid M. And it will definitely move past 5 chapters but not sure how much. I know exactly where this story is going just not sure how long it will take me to get there.

Chapter 4

Jane was barely able to get herself out of bed after her alarm went off for the third time. That was the best thing that could be said of the morning so far. She had hardly enough instant left for a half of cup of coffee and before she was able to hit Boston Joe's she got a call that a body had dropped at a local apartment building. She got there before her partners, but not before the chipper Medical Examiner. Maura was crouched down next to the young man examining the large wound on the side of his head. Only Maura could still look lady-like squatting next to a dead body in a knee length pencil skirt and heals.

"Morning Jane." She looked up and smiled briefly before returning her attention to the deceased.

"Morning." Jane mumbled.

She tried to focus on what Maura was doing but was distracted by the top of her friend's breasts that were exposed by the open collar of the grey silk blouse she wore. Maura stood up suddenly, or at least it seemed sudden to Jane who had to quickly look away so not to be caught ogling the Doctor.

"Jane, you have heavy darkening of the nasal jugular folds. Are you not sleeping?"

"What? No. Yea. I mean, I didn't sleep well." She gripped her right wrist in her left hand willing her body to be still.

"You're not having nightmares again are you?" The look of concern on Maura's face warmed Jane until she realized she needed a reason that wouldn't make her friend worry.

"No. Nothing like that. Just need my coffee fix."

Maura tilted her head to the side making Jane squirm under the scrutiny. "Police officers are one of the most sleep deprived professions. You need to be careful. There are 1,550 crash related deaths each year due to fatigue. Poor sleep can cause problems for you physical, emotional, and mental health."

Jane relaxed, Google-speak Maura was comfortable and endearing. Not that she'd say that out loud.

"Did you know that sleep deprivation was ruled as the cause of both the Exxon Valdez oil spill and the nuclear accident at Three Mile Island in 1979?"

"I did not know that." The Detective motioned to the body. "Is that what killed this guy?"

Maura clasped her lips together as if she were holding in the rest of the many facts about sleep deprivation before shaking her head and speaking again. "There is no way I could know that. Though fatigue does make one clumsy, I won't know for sure until I get him back to the lab."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Seriously Maura? Show me one surface around the body that has a-" she made air quotes with her fingers, "reddish brown stain."

The Doctor narrowed her eyes. "Sleep deprivation does makes people irritable or it could be your coffee addiction. But no, I don't see any surface that looks like it came in contact with his head."

"So if his head didn't come into contact with a surface then something else hit his head. Come on, Maura!"

"I can't say for sure until I am able-"

"-to take a look at him back at the lab." Jane finished with an eye roll.

A look of hurt crossed Maura's face. Jane squeezed her eyes together and took a deep breath.

"Look Maur, I'm sorry for being such a jerk. Can you at least till me time of death?"

"Liver temp suggests he died between 10pm and 2am."

Jane reached out and squeezed her friend's arm.

"Thanks."

She was considering saying more but Frost and Korsak chose that moment to arrive. Jane filled them in before they separated to canvass the nearby apartments.

Several hours and several cups of coffee later, Jane walked down to the morgue with a sandwich for herself and a salad for the M.E. The investigation was stalled until the Doctor was finished with her report and they had an idea on cause of death and the murder weapon. Jane would normally be present for the autopsy but had got caught up with the notification. The victim's mother was about 45 minutes out of Boston in an assisted living facility. Notifying next of kin was always rough but this one sucked. A woman that old never expected to outlive her only child.

Jane stopped just outside the double doors and just watched Maura through the glass. She was in awe of the care Maura took stitching the body back up. It's not like he could feel it, yet she was as gentle as she was precise. Memories of her friend saving Frankie's life began to mix with the book she was reading. The brilliant yet socially isolated ER doctor tending to the closed off, injured firefighter. She wondered how different things would have been if Maura had been the one to tend to her injuries after she shot herself.

She shook her head. No, then Frankie would certainly be dead and that was something she didn't want to think about for even a second. Instead she thought over all the times Maura had patched her up when she wasn't seriously injured and too stubborn to go to the hospital; all the way back to the Doctor resetting her broken nose when Hoyt's first apprentice showed up. Then there was the night she killed Hoyt. Maura had stayed after the dreadful pony party and insisted on checking her injuries. What if she had held her hand in place on her neck and kissed her like the firefighter Alex had done with her Doctor in the book? What if she kissed back?

Jane took a steadying breath. She wasn't ready then. She didn't know. Would she ever be? That was just a story. And in the story they were virtual strangers not best friends. What did they really have to lose? She couldn't lose Maura. Maura, the most important person in her life. Maura who only dated men. Maura who was walking over to her right now. Shit! When did she finish? Jane put on a smile and held the door open for her friend.

"I brought lunch." She held up the bags.

The Medical Examiner looked at her curiously. "Why are you standing out here?"

"I'm not bringing our food-"" she waved her free arm in the direction the blonde just came from "-in there".

Maura shook her head. "Don't you want to know what I found?"

Jane put her hand on the small of her friend's back and started ushering her over to her office. "Tell me while we eat."

As they finished eating, the Detective leaned back in the uncomfortable couch and closed her eyes for a second. She really was tired, so why was she still planning on reading more when she got home tonight? She probably only needed a few hours to finish then she could crash and come at this case full steam in the morning. She told herself it was just curiosity, but if the last book was anything to go off, things were just about to get hot and heavy. The author definitely didn't pull any punches in that area.

"Jane?" Maura's concerned voice pulled her back to the present. Jane sat up and looked over at her friend.

"I really am worried how tired you seem. Fatigue can cause poor concentration and memory problems. Have you tried self-stimulation?"

"What?" Jane shot forward, wide awake now.

"Orgasms, even self-induced, release the hormones prolactin and oxytocin plus endorphins that are not only great for stress release but also promote healthy sleep. If you are having trouble falling asleep masturbation is an excellent way to unwind." From Maura's expression, she might as well have been discussing running or the history of the peanut.

Jane felt her entire body flush. "Whoa! We are not talking about this." She started to stand up.

"I don't know why you always get so squeamish when I bring up sex."

Jane stood up. "I am not squeamish." 'I'm aroused' she thought. "I just need to get upstairs to tell the guys we're looking for something flat and heavy. Thanks for that." She rushed out of the office towards the elevator. The conversation had jump started her heart and the adrenaline had kicked her body into a second wind. Now she just needed to focus on the case. Any thoughts of reading, Maura, and self-stimulation would have to wait until she got home.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who followed/favorited/and reviewed. It is greatly appreciated and I am amazed at the response. Enjoy.

Chapter 5

Jane got home much later than she had hoped. She and Korsak went to the victim's workplace, then back over to his apartment to search for a possible murder weapon. Meanwhile, Frost sifted through all the financial and phone records. The guy had lived a quiet life it seemed, but without any sign of forced entry, it was probable that he was killed by someone close to him. Between his phone logs and social media presence they at least had a good idea of where to start looking for potential suspects. It was after nine by the time they finished reviewing what they had and made a game plan for tomorrow. At that point they had all decided it was best if they went home to get some rest and start fresh in the morning.

Jane hadn't seen Maura since their lunch and she wasn't sure if she was grateful or disappointed. Fortunately the case had demanded her attention for the rest of the day, keeping her awake and focused. But now that she was home, all the details faded into the background and she was again awash with thoughts of Maura. Jane ran her hands through her unruly hair as she sat down on the couch. She had changed into old sweatpants and her BPD Academy t-shirt. Afraid it would knock her out, she decided against having a beer and just stretched her feet out onto the coffee table and grabbed the Kindle.

She could already feel her body settling as she started the new chapter. Stiff, she rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck, hoping to ease the weight of her exhaustion. Despite only sleeping roughly six hours in the past two days, she was determined to read at least one more chapter before heading to bed. She was rewarded a few pages in, when the characters came together to passionately consummate their new relationship. As the firefighter pinned the doctor to the bedroom door, claiming her throat with her mouth and securing her wrists with her hands, Jane's breathing became heavy. The Detective could feel her body heat up and her mouth salivate in response to the erotic images laid out in her mind.

When she finished the chapter, she was painfully aroused as well as worn out. Afraid she would fall asleep if she closed her eyes, Jane got up. Grabbing the Kindle, and double checking the locks, she headed into the bedroom. Lights out and book safely stowed away she laid there and just stared at the ceiling without actually seeing it. Normally if Jane was turned on, she could still fall asleep if she just stayed still long enough. But things had changed since she started reading this author. All the things she had avoided thinking about with the object of her affections were laid bare in black print.

She couldn't help but imagine the erotic scene she had just read with herself and Maura in place of the characters. The fantasies were made all the more real since she knew how soft the Doctor's hands were and how her hair smelled like a subtle mix if apples and summer rain. It was a constant amazement how someone who works with dead bodies every day managed to smell so lovely. Even after Yoga or running she never smelled dirty but sweet and inviting. Jane wondered if her skin tasted as delicious.

So many times Jane had caught herself gazing at Maura, imagining running scarred hands over her smooth shoulders and down her arms, kissing across her neck and chest, only to look away quickly lest she be caught. But now, in her mind, she allowed herself to continue. She laid her hands on Maura's waist, slipping them under her shirt to the skin of her waist and slowly dragging them up, taking the fabric with her. Her friend topless, she had seen in passing, but the prize would be divesting her of whatever expensive bra she wore and exploring her magnificent breasts with her eyes first, then her hands and mouth.

Jane folded down the blanket and top sheet to her waist and laid her hands on her stomach. Running them up to her own chest, she grazed her finger tips over the hard nipples and sucked in a sharp breath as she felt a shot of pleasure between her legs. Her breasts weren't usually very sensitive, in fact the soft touches over her t-shirt were causing more sensation than she was accustomed to under the best of circumstances. Sliding her left hand under the elastic of her sweats and boy shorts, Jane was shocked to find how wet she was.

As she began to slowly run her fingers through her silky folds, Jane tried to clear her mind of the Doctor and just focus on the physical sensations. It was one thing to get herself off after becoming aroused thinking about Maura, but quite another to get off while thinking about her. It seemed wrong somehow. Using two fingers she gently teased her opening and began rocking her hips. Fuck, it felt good. She started to lengthen her strokes to include her clit. The first time she touched the swollen nub she shuttered.

As she began to speed up her rhythm, flashes of Maura began to appear unbidden in her mind. The guilt of using her friend in such a wanton manner pushed back against her pleasure. She slowed down and tried to clear her mind again. But every time she would get close to achieving some sort of release, the shame would prevent it. It's not like Jane had any hang-ups about masturbating, despite what Maura might think. But Maura wasn't just some sexual object, and she certainly didn't consent to being used like this. It made her feel dirty, like she was desecrating what they had somehow. Her friend would probably say it wasn't rational, but she would be damned if she would talk to her about it. Even in the abstract.

After thirty minutes, it became clear that she just wasn't going to be able to make herself come. Jane groaned and rolled over. Hugging her pillow to her chest, she resigned herself to the certainty she would not find any satisfaction tonight. The best she could do was get some rest, and hopefully the sleep would help her regain control over her emotions and desires.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Thank you to Everyone who favorited/ followed/ reviewed. A special thanks to my partner for her encouragement and excellent beta reading skills. You rock. Enjoy.

Chapter 6

The Detective woke up over an hour before her alarm was set to go off. Her sleep was fitful and full of dreams, but at least she was somewhat rested compared to yesterday. Not wanting to just lay there, she decided to head into work early. It had crossed her mind to use the time to read a little more, but decided that was a bad idea. She already felt too raw, too exposed as it was. Best to just get a jump on the day and be as productive as she could. There was always tonight.

The bullpen was as quiet now at 7:30 as it was when she got in almost forty minutes ago. Soon though, it would be teeming with welcomed activity. Jane never realized how much silence could be a distraction. She was trying to look at all the information Frost had put together, but just couldn't seem to concentrate. As she scanned through the victim's most recent appointments, she heard the tell tale sound of high heels approaching from the elevator. She chose not to turn around, and took a deep breath to calm the beating in her chest that got harder as the Doctor approached. Radiant and poised as always, Maura stopped right next to Jane's desk. Close enough, that her unique and enticing scent surrounded the Detective, bringing with it flashes of last night's activities. Jane could feel the flush of unquenched need covering her cheeks.

"Morning, Jane. I brought you some coffee." She held the cup out to her friend.

"Hey. Thanks, but…" Jane picked up her paper cup only to realize she'd already drank it all. "Yea, OK. Guess I do need it." She smiled warmly and took the offered drink.

"You know, that's a sign of sexual frustration." Maura voice was concerned but a small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

Jane just looked back in confusion. "What? I'm not even touching my hair." She followed the Doctor's eyes to her leg that was bouncing rapidly under her desk. She dropped her hand to her knee, hoping the weight would help keep it steady. "For your information I am just eager to get going this morning but it's still too early to start interviewing."

Maura smoothed her hands down the sides of her simple black skirt drawing Jane's attention to her perfect curves. Her eyes snapped back up to her friend's face when she started talking again.

"Well at least you look better rested today. What are you working on?"

"Just going over the vic's phone records. He called his doctor 3 times in the last week. I think they might be having a affair." Jane had no idea why she said that. She could guess where it came from but didn't believe it for a second.

"Well that's a bit of a leap." Maura looked surprised.

Jane couldn't agree more but she had put it out there so it was best to just run with it. "I don't know. I'm sure that kind of thing happens all the time, doctors and patients falling in love. Though I'm not sure it's allowed."

"According to the American Medical Association, 5-10% of physicians have had sexual contact with a patient or a significant third party of a patient during their career. They consider it a grave breech of ethics for this to occur while the doctor is actively overseeing the patient's care, because of the power disparity, so there is a general 'no overlap policy' that is observed." Maura was looking down at Jane's desk and wringing her hands as the information poured from her lips. Her voice began to speed up with every subsequent fact; even slightly jumping in octave. "This generally means that as long as the caregiver relationship has ended it may be acceptable in most cases, though how long-"

"Whoa, relax there, Maur." Bothered that her friend's discomfort relaxed her somewhat, Jane swallowed it down and smiled reassuringly. "So what you're saying is that it happens but the reality is complicated."

Maura gave a sigh and nodded. She opened her mouth to renew the flow of facts but the Detective cut her off.

"So I guess it's something that is more found in books and movies, huh."

Maura's hand flew up to her neck and started fidgeting with the small pendant around her neck. "Yes I suppose so. In fiction, one is able to determine the exact root and nature of the attraction and rule out more convoluted motives such as transference and counter-transference. Where in real life, what we are feeling cannot always be as clearly understood or interpreted."

Jane chuckled and shook her head, though from amusement or discomfort she wasn't sure. So in true Rizzoli fashion she made a joke. "Is there something you want to tell me Dr. Isles?"

The hand at Maura's neck stilled and flattened against her chest. "What? No."

"Careful there, you're going to get hives."

The doctor stood still and rigid. "I have never dated a patient, Jane"

Jane reached out and squeezed the hand that was still at her friends side, silently conveying that she was teasing and laughed good naturedly. "I hope not. Considering the state of most of your patients."

Maura smiled weakly and started to back away. "I need to get back downstairs. I'm waiting on some test results that should almost be ready. Once they are I should be able to tell you if your victim had any medical conditions that would warrant the recent frequency of communications with his doctor."

"OK. Let me know."

The Doctor quickly made her way back to the elevators but stopped abruptly as her friend called out to her.

"Oh, and hey, Maur?"

Maura looked over her shoulder, keeping her body still. "Yes?"

"Thanks for the coffee."

"Of course, Jane." In her rush to get away, she didn't notice her friend's eyes admiring her form as she left.

An hour later The detectives were knocking around theories when Jane's phone vibrated on her hip. She quickly read the text then stood from where she had been half sitting on top of her desk. "Maura's got something for us. I'll be right back."

She left before either of her partners could volunteer to go with her. Partially because she didn't want the guys to hear about her ridiculous love affair theory, but also she wanted to see the Doctor alone. There was something about this morning's conversation that seemed odd. She just couldn't put her finger on it. Was it the subject matter or her behavior that made Maura uncomfortable. Maybe she caught Jane checking her out or worse, could read the arousal in her micro expressions. Suddenly, as Jane stepped off the elevator, she realized she should have brought Frost at least as a way to keep Maura from seeing right through her. Running her hands through her thick hair, Jane took a deep breath and walked into Maura's office.

The M.E. quickly snapped her laptop shut as Jane entered and began shuffling the papers in front of her. "I have the lab results on your victim, Jane. I might know why he was in contact with his doctor."

"So what did you find?" Jane chewed on the inside of her lip. Maura's expression was one that she wore for all detectives, confident, authoritative, and professional. All detectives that was, except Jane.

"His hematicrit values are low, at about 32%, and on closer inspection are smaller and paler then is common."

Jane closed her eyes for a second. "Maura, what do these hema-critical things mean?"

"Hematicrit, Jane. Red blood cells. It means your victim was anemic and most likely in the process of being diagnosed if the doctor call and visits are only recent."

"Oh, OK. Thanks Maura. Already knowing something specific like that might make the doctor more willing to talk to us." She smiled gently and turned to leave.

"Jane?" Maura stood as she called out.

The detective turned around, surprised at the urgent tone in her friend's voice. "What is it?"

Suddenly embarrassed at her outburst, and unsure of how to continue, Maura shook her head and sat back down. "I'm sorry. Nothing important. We'll talk later."

Jane stepped forward and studied her friend's face. She could already see red creeping up from under the Doctor's neckline, probably because whatever she stopped her for was important. But Maura's eyes begged her to just let it go. She sighed and slowly nodded. "Later." It was said with conviction. When Maura returned her nod, Jane turned and left.

As the elevator doors closed, it felt like an ice cold fist was squeezing Jane's stomach. The concerned friend in her wanted to know what Maura needed to talk about, but as the woman secretly in love with her, she was terrified.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lunchtime Thursday Jane headed down to the café to grab some fresh coffee and a sandwich for herself and Frost. She hadn't had lunch with Maura in two days. It wasn't like she had been avoiding her friend, they were both making excuses, and an awkward professionalism had settled between them. Jane spent most of that time trying not to focus on what the Doctor wanted to talk about, and the possible consequences it held for their friendship. The constant tightness she carried in her chest was a sign that she wasn't doing a very good job.

Maura would sneak into her thoughts unexpectedly as she was driving or reviewing evidence. When they did have to work together, the Detective put all her energy into keeping herself in check. Worried that any look or word would telegraph her feelings to her friend, she became more reserved with her and made sure they were never alone. The Doctor may not be good at reading social cues, but she was good at reading Jane. At night when she was home, she tried to distract herself with TV, knowing the books made her miss her friend and want more. She wasn't doing a good job at that either. Not only had she finished the second book, she had downloaded a third.

This new book was about a U.S. Marshall who falls for the daughter of a mob boss she is charged with protecting. Jane was starting to think the author of these books was trying to make her crazy with longing. She stood at the coffee station thinking back to the story. How an uneasy friendship begins to form between the two women then slowly develops into something deeper. Mutually. In the book it was mutual, she reminded herself for the hundredth time today. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice her mother walk up next to her.

"Janie, what's going on?"

Jane almost spilled the sugar dispenser as her hand jerked, the voice ripping her from her thoughts. "Ma! Why do you have to sneak up on me like that."

"Well someone had to get your attention. You won't be able to stir that coffee if you put anymore sugar in it. Ya know, Maura says that when you zone out on simple things like that it means something is bothering you."

Jane took a deep breath as the tightness became more pronounced. "Maybe I'm just thinking about the case. Or maybe I like this much sugar."

She stole a quick glance at the cup, wondering exactly how much sugar she had actually poured in. Angela just stood silently with her hands on her hips and a raised eyebrow. To prove her point, Jane raised the cup to her lips and took a sip. She had to work at keeping her expression neutral as the unpleasantly over-sweetened drink slid over her tongue. As she swallowed, she tipped her cup towards her mother.

"See. Just how I like it. Now I've got to get back upstairs." She stuffed the sandwiches under her arm and reached for the other cup.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli. You hold it right there."

"What Ma? I have a case to work on."

Angela's hands dropped from her hips and her voice softened. "Are you and Maura fighting again? Is that what's wrong?"

Jane sighed and her shoulders slumped. "Why would you think we are fighting, Ma? We're just busy."

"Busy my ass. I haven't seen you two together all week. But do you know who I have seen?"

"Who, Ma?" Jane had a sinking suspicion she knew the answer.

"FedEx, Ups, USPS. More boxes than she has time to open, even. So don't you tell me you're not in a fight."

Jane stared down into the cups in her hands.

"Fix it, Janie. I don't know what you did, but fix it."

The Detective didn't bother to argue. After all, if Maura did figure out her feelings, then it was her fault. Now her chest and her throat felt tight. "Thanks, Ma. See ya later."

Once out of eyeshot, she tossed her coffee and headed back to the bullpen.

They were able to wrap the case up later that afternoon so Cavanaugh let the team cut out early. Jane declined drinks with her partners at the Dirty Robber. She knew they could tell something was off but had the good sense not to say anything. When she got home she poured herself some Coco Puffs and pulled out the Kindle. The books were starting to make her feel even more lonely than before, but she couldn't help but crave the temporary escape they provided. A place where she was not only Maura's friend and protector, but also her lover, even if the pain of re-entering reality made it hard to breathe.

The next day her mood had gotten worse. Jane was snapping at everyone and brooding over her paperwork. Frost and Korsak stopped attempting to joke with her after she almost took their heads off for asking if she was going to lunch with Maura. At exactly five o'clock, the Detective grabbed the jacket off the back of her chair and just left. Leaving the station, she couldn't help but feel like she'd forgotten something. She checked for her keys, badge and gun three times before she realized it wasn't that she forgot something, but someone. She and Maura always left on Fridays together and spent the evening eating takeout and watching movies. Jane shook her head at her stupidity, little chance of that when they hadn't spoken all day.

It wasn't until Jane had cleared the house and walked back to the kitchen, that she realized that she had picked up Chinese food for two on her way home. Dropping her head into her arms on the counter, she told herself to just snap out of it. Standing back up, Jane put her gun away and retrieved her book. Finally after grabbing a beer and several food cartons, she was all set up for an evening on the couch. As long as a murder didn't happen in the next six hours, she could stay like this all weekend.

About an hour later while Jane was up getting for a second beer, there was a knock on the door. Seeing Maura through the peephole, She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. When she opened the door, Maura stood there turning the ring on her hand looking at Jane expectantly for a moment before the Detective moved out of the way and motioned to the couch.

"Want a drink? I still have that wine you brought over last week."

"Yes, that would be good, thank you."

Maura moved to sit on the couch as Jane headed back to the kitchen. As she was about to pour the wine, Jane heard a gasp from the living room and everything seemed to slow down. The Doctor sat perched on the edge of the cushions, one hand covering her mouth and the other holding the Kindle. Jane felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her and her chest was too constricted to get it back. She placed the bottle that had been hovering just over the counter down, and forced herself to walk around the island.

Maura's eyes were shining in the light of the side table lamp and her shoulders were rising and falling rapidly as she fought to gain control of herself. Tossing the reader on the table, she stood rapidly and turned to face her friend. "Is this why you've been avoiding me? Pulling away?"

Jane's mouth opened and closed a few times but nothing came out. She just stood, arms at her sides, palms out, pleading with her eyes for Maura to understand.

Maura walked around the couch, her hands clenching and unclenching, until she stopped a few feet away from Jane. "Answer me, Jane."

Jane wanted to explain, but of all the responses she had imagined her friend having to her being gay, anger was definitely not one of them. She stood, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as her fight or flight reflexes battled for control, freezing her to the spot.

Maura was unimpressed. "I thought last week maybe-" she shook her head. "When did you figure it out?"

The Detective ran her hands through her hair, then reached forward towards her friend, if she could still call her that. "Maur-"

The twin sounds of vibrations filled the room. Maura immediately reached into her purse for her phone, so Jane pulled her's off her hip.

"Dr. Isles" "Rizzoli"

Before the Detective even hung up, the Doctor was gone. Now shocked out of her stupor, Jane felt a wave of anger roll over her as she grabbed her gun. "What the fuck?" Jaw clenched, she ripped the door open and slammed it behind her. The way she was feeling, there could be more than one body tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Thanks to everyone who followed/favorited and reviewed.

Chapter 8

The Detective was surprised when she pulled up to the scene and saw Maura's car already there. True, the Doctor had left before her, but she tended to follow every traffic law including the speed limit. All of which Jane had ignored more than usual. She took a few moments to calm herself. Flexing her hands, she tried to ease the ache and restore the blood flow after gripping the steering wheel too tight on the short drive. Thankful she wasn't a big crier, Jane set her jaw and got out of the car. Ducking under the police tape she passed a for sale sign as she walked in the door. Frost was standing just inside waiting for her.

"What have we got?"

"Possible suicide, GSW to the right side of the head. It's back here in the office." He led the way to the back of the house to an open room where Korsak was taking notes as the crime scene techs collected evidence. The M.E. was hunched over the body slumped forward on the medium sized oak desk. Jane took in the scene, including the blood splattered 9mm handgun lying on the right side of the desk.

"What do you think, Korsak? Suicide?"

"I believe, Detective Rizzoli-" Maura didn't bother to look up as she spoke. "-that it is _my_ job to determine cause and manner of death. I will take him back to the lab and examine him as per procedure. Only then will I officially rule homicide or suicide. That's how this works." The Doctor straightened up and look directly at Jane. "I examine the body and the forensics. You investigate. Isn't prying into people's secrets what you do? At least I share my discoveries."

The Detective just stared back, hard. The muscles along her jaw rippled with unspoken retorts. But to tear into the Doctor here would leave too much of herself exposed. Instead she looked over at her partner standing a safe distance away in the hall. "Frost, grab the laptop. We're out of here." She turned to her former partner. "You OK to stay and babysit the teacher? I have to go pry. You know, _my_ job."

Maura leaned forward, ready to return fire when Korsak put his hand out and shook his head. "Just go, Jane."

While Jane waited for Frost to get to the station, she ran the victim's name and started sifting through the recent legal filings. She was no rookie and she expected to find enough reason to be confident in suicide that she could go home before the autopsy report was ready . She wanted to wallow and lick her wounds in private. By the time Frost booted up the laptop, she had found what she was looking for. She discovered that the late Jim Dryden had, in the last six months, filed for bankruptcy, put his house up for sale and been served with divorce papers by his wife.

Frost had been quietly working, not sure how to approach his partner on what was wrong. Jane told him what she found before he finally spoke.

"I think you're right, Jane. Just before the shot alarm went off at that location, he sent an email to his brother in New York. As clear as a suicide note can be. Here-" He turned the computer towards her so she could read what was written. "I'd be more than a little surprised if Dr. Isles rules it anything but. Think we can call the brother and get out of here. Leave the paperwork till Monday."

Jane nodded in agreement and made the call. She was just hanging up when Frost returned from logging the laptop into evidence.

"Want to head over to the Robber for a quick drink?" He looked at her hopefully.

"Thanks, but I'm not up for company right now."

"Look, I know something's up. But maybe I need a friendly face and a drink too. Suicides are rough."

Jane studied her partner and friend's face. Seeing the sadness in his eyes, she conceded. "Fine. Just one drink. And you have to call Korsak to fill him in, I don't need him bugging me about that shit at the scene."

Frost smiled. "Agreed. Meet you in ten."

"Oh, and Frost?"

He looked up from his cell phone. "Yea?"

"Don't tell him where we're going. Too late for the old man anyway." She gave a half-smile then headed to the elevator.

One beer had turned into two and the conversation had been light and safe. By the time Frost returned with the third round, Jane had relaxed somewhat. He took a deep breath and plowed right in.

"So what's going on with you and the Doc?"

Jane's hand gripped her bottle, and she stared at the table. It was littered with the tattered remains of labels from the previous beers. Maybe she should just tell him. Or tell him parts, at least. She raised her eyes but not her head. "She found out something about me that she didn't like, then got pissed at me for hiding it. But that's why I didn't tell her."

Frost just looked at her. His eyes were soft but his face gave nothing else away. He just waited.

Jane puffed out her cheeks as she expelled a large breath of air and settled back into the bench. "You know, I taught you that stay quiet in an interrogation thing."

He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled.

Jane laughed quietly then leaned in conspiratorially. "What do you want me to say Frost? It's just, I-" she cut herself off. She'd never said it to another person before. It was hard enough to say it out loud to an empty apartment, a technique of self-acceptance she had read in a book somewhere; but another person? She knew, or at least she thought she knew, he would be fine with it. That didn't mean it wasn't a big deal. She must have looked pathetic, or scared because he threw her a lifeline.

"You know one thing I learned from my mom?"

She relaxed a little. "How to hit a softball?"

Frost broke out into a big grin. "That too. I learned that it's ok if you don't want to share things about yourself to everyone, as long as you're not hiding. There are lots of reasons to choose to be private, but when we hide, we abdicate that choice. We allow fear to decide. The Jane Rizzoli I know is fearless."

She didn't feel fearless. She took a long swig off her beer, and for a second wished she had drank a lot more. Sure she was mellow, but closer to drunk would be easier. She shook her head at her internal monologue. She didn't want to look back at the first time she came out and remember she was drunk. Jane closed her eyes for a second then just started talking.

"After I broke up with Casey, no actually when we were still together, I started to realize that I didn't feel about him the way I should. As messed up as it sounds, I was happiest when he was away. Eventually I realized I loved him but wasn't in love with him. " There was more to it, sex and attraction, but that wasn't the kind of stuff she and Frost ever talked about before and she was not going to start now. "I never really did serious relationships before, so I never had to think about it. When I finally did, really think about it that is, I realized-" She quickly swallowed down the rest of her beer, for courage or to postpone the inevitable, she wasn't sure. "I think I'm gay." She finished softly.

He was smiling, with his eyebrow cocked. "Think?"

"OK. I'm gay." Some of the tightness in her chest that she had been carrying around lessened. And she returned his smile.

"Feel better?"

Jane reached across the table and punched him in the shoulder. "Smartass. And yes, I do. You should feel honored, you're the first person I've told."

Her partner melodramatically put his hand over is heart. "I am deeply honored, Detective Rizzoli. I'd like to thank the Academy- OW!"

She punched him again, though she was laughing with him this time. Slowly Frost sobered and looked deep in thought.

"If I'm the first person you've told, how does Dr. Isles know?"

Jane grew still. "She figured it out from something I was reading and got all pissed off."

"So, she saw you reading Lesbian Digest or something and asked you?"

"Lesbian Digest, really?! It was a book. And she didn't ask if I was, just got all, 'how could you', on me."

"Wait a minute. The woman who won't assume blood is blood when it's pooled under a dead body, just assumed you were gay because you were reading something gay?"

"Well, yea." Jane frowned as she thought back. That was kind of a quick leap.

"Let me guess, you were too freaked out because you thought she figured out how you feel about _her_, not women in general."

"What are you talking about!? I never said-"

"Please." Frost put his hand out in a stopping motion. "Don't insult my intelligence. Think they just gave me this shield because I'm pretty?"

"You're not that pretty." Jane grumbled.

"First of all, yes I am." Her friend flashed her a big smile. "Second, her not being cool with you either being gay or hiding if from her doesn't explain all her digs at the crime scene. Third, how can you not tell she is interested? I mean, really. I don't know who's more obvious."

Jane was having trouble wrapping her head around what he was saying. Replaying what Maura said at the crime scene and her earlier behavior at the apartment, it did seem a little odd. She looked up as Frost started talking again.

"Want to know what I think?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure."

"Step outside of this and think like a detective. The Doc isn't homophobic. There is plenty of evidence to support that. And if she was upset that you were hiding it from her, she'd be hurt more than angry. She's not you. You get all offensive and aggressive when you get hurt."

Jane glared at him.

"Don't try to deny it. But the Doc's not you. Remember the Fairfield case? When you said you didn't trust her? I worked with her then. She looked like someone kicked her puppy." He paused to see if Jane was going to argue more but she just looked confused and defeated so he continued. "I don't know what went down earlier tonight. But whatever it was, you need to think long and hard about it and figure out an alternate scenario. Because what you think happened, doesn't fit the evidence. Witness accounts are unreliable, everyone has their own agenda. Look at the evidence. Know what I mean?"

Jane nodded and got up. "Thanks, partner."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jane returned to her apartment. Once she finished her usual routine, she began to clear the half empty food cartons from the coffee table. She paused and looked down at the Kindle like it was a blood covered knife at a murder scene. She could taste the bile rising up into her throat. Forcing herself to look away, she walked to the kitchen and dumped the spoiled food in the trash. She pulled out a notepad and pen from a kitchen drawer, grabbed a beer, and sat down at the counter. She started writing down everything she remembered Maura saying, first at the crime scene then earlier in the apartment.

Some of what she remembered fit in easily with what Jane had already thought the conversations were about. The cop in her said they could mean something else but what, she wasn't sure. So she started with the statements that stood out as odd. At the crime scene the Detective wanted to yell back at the dig about prying. Seriously? Who was Maura to say that? She had been the one prying, reading Jane's Kindle uninvited. Jane forced herself to calm down. She reminded herself that this wasn't about reliving things, but sorting them out.

Once her heart rate returned to normal, she moved on to earlier in the night. There was Maura's initial reaction. She said "How could you?" not "What is this?" or "Why are you reading this?" Frost was right, it wasn't like her friend to jump to conclusions like that. Rather, her natural curiosity dictated that she ask questions, sometimes even embarrassing ones, before assuming anything.

On a hunch, Jane jumped up and brought the Kindle back to the kitchen. Catching the slide with her thumb, she watched as the text appeared in her hand. Her eyes quickly skimmed the page, then the adjacent pages just to be certain. The passage was all set-up for an action scene and gave nothing away about the romantic feelings or intentions of either protagonist. There was no way Maura could know this was a lesbian story unless she'd recognized it.

Jane put her chin in her hand and ran through the possibilities in her mind. It's not a physical book, so the Doctor couldn't have worried that Jane borrowed it without asking, but she was clearly alarmed. How could the Detective possibly have invaded her privacy by reading something that wasn't Maura's? Jane's hand dropped down hard onto the counter as she quickly straightened up. It seemed a ridiculous idea. There was no way her awkward friend had the social intelligence to write trashy romance novels. Was there?

Jane sprinted into the bedroom to get her laptop. As she waited for it to boot up she opened another beer. Her fingers and foot each tapped out competing rhythms of impatience until the computer was finally ready. Wasting no more time, she went to the publisher's site and began looking at the biography for Margret Bisel. There wasn't a picture of course. Why make things easy? The only identifying information was that she was from Boston. The rest was vague romantic fluff that somewhat applied to Maura, but could also apply to almost anyone.

There were a total of six books, all of which seemed similar to the three Jane already had. The common threads were the character's personalities and the themes of loneliness, protection and love. Knowing her friend as she did, Jane did a general search on the author's name. Google suggested she meant to search for Sara Bisel so she clicked on the name. The Detective's jaw slowly fell as she read the information on the scientist. She was listed with William Bass as one of the formative contributors to modern forensic science. The exact sort of person that her Doctor admired. Jane was willing to bet the first name came from someone similar if her theory about this mysterious author was right.

It would be harder to search scientists by first name though. For a brief moment she considered asking Frost for help, but quickly dismissed it. If she was right and Maura was the author, it was clear she didn't want anyone to know. Or maybe she just didn't want Jane to know considering the subject matter. Either way, her friend would most likely be embarrassed if other people knew about it, so Jane was on her own.

It turns out there were a lot more scientists in history with the first name of Margaret then the Detective had anticipated. After almost an hour of reading and dismissing several candidates she went back to looking at the author's name. Widening her search to just M. Bisel she found out that the author had three earlier works that were put out under a different publisher and are all out of print. These all seemed to be heterosexual, as Jane had always assumed her friend to be.

As Jane began to read the description of the first book, she found herself leaning in closer and closer to the screen. The earliest book was about a young, lonely doctor just out of her residency who joins Doctors without Borders in order to find herself. She does, but she also finds a handsome doctor from New Zealand whose selflessness makes her fall in love with him. Jane ran her hands over her face. Seems that if she couldn't change the occupation, she just changed where he was from. "Kept the sexy accent though." Jane grumbled. Her hands began to shake and she felt the familiar churning in her gut whenever she thought of Ian and Maura together. It seems her friend wrote the happy ending that selfish prick would never give her.

The Detective stood up so fast, the stool she had been perched on flew back and clattered against the linoleum. Her hand flew to her chest and she gasped out loud. Six books. Maura had written six books giving her and Jane a happy, romantic ending. Jane had been reading her confession this whole time. No wonder Maura had been upset. She thought Jane had discovered her secret and was distancing herself because of it. Jane looked around frantically for her keys. They of course, were in the same bowl they were always in, and once she realized that, Jane rounded the counter to grab them.

The physicality of holding the keys gave Jane pause. She looked up at the clock. It was almost 4 am. If she went tearing over there right now, she would just freak her friend out more than she already has. Besides, Tommy was due to bring Jo over in less than four hours on his way to a painting job and this was not going to be a short conversation. Jane slowly deposited the keys back into the bowl and just stood there. The loud growl of her stomach pulled Jane from her dazed state. She slowly walked back to the kitchen and pulled out some of the extra food she had picked up earlier. As her orange chicken reheated, she put away her laptop and notes and poured herself a glass of water.

As she ate, Jane tried to figure out her next move. At this point, she wasn't even sure if Maura would speak to her, let alone listen. What she needed was a peace offering. There were fudge clusters, but they could be taken the wrong way. The last time she tried to bribe her friend with them, she had insisted they weren't an apology. Besides, she wanted to talk to her as soon as possible and she doubted any place that sold them would be open. The idea that Maura thought Jane was avoiding her because of what she wrote was making Jane sick. She hated anyone who hurt her friend, and the knowledge that she was the one causing the pain just made Jane turn that hatred inward.

She pushed the food away. Hungry or not, she was far too twisted up inside to hold anything down. She just needed to make sure Maura knew she didn't do anything wrong by writing what she did. That Jane still loved her. Then maybe the Detective could come clean and tell her friend that she was in love with her. Jane sat massaging the scars on her hands lost in thought before her eyes settled on the Kindle. Maura's confession. It was all in there. Quickly running through every romantic gesture her counterparts made, Jane landed on an idea. In the first book she read, the Maura character made a big deal about the bouquet of flowers the FBI agent brought her.

Jane looked up at the clock. It was about 4:30. Plenty of time to head to the flower market before Tommy got here. The flower shops wouldn't be open, but the flower market was like a big wholesale swap meet. They had everything and were where most of the florists in the city got their flowers. The only catch was that it was only open in the wee hours of the morning and the vendors preferred if you bought in bulk. Jane hoped that was just a preference and not a requirement. If it was, so be it. Pulling the notepad and pen back out, she searched the book for the right passage. Finding it, she scribbled down the exact flowers. Then, notebook in hand, Jane snatched her keys and jacket and headed out the door.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N 1: Thank You to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favorited. I am glad you are enjoying the reading as much as I am writing it.

Chapter 10

The sun was just starting to come up as Jane sat waiting in her car less than a block from her friends house. Tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, she looked over at the bouquet sitting on the passenger's seat. Her trip to the flower market had been semi-successful. She found the two types of flowers in the correct colors but had to go to two different sellers to do it. Turns out they don't bundle them up for presentation there, though the second vendor took pity on her and threw in some decorative fern leaves that she swore would look good. Next Jane went to a 24 hour drugstore and bought tissue paper, ribbon, scissors, and a card.

The backseat of the unmarked looked like the floor of a florist's with cuttings, torn paper and other bits from her attempt to properly arrange her gift. Jane felt it wholly inadequate but decided the result was presentable. The card was tossed into the pile, some silly children's birthday card, it was the color of the envelope that was important. She had spent as much time writing and rewriting the note as she had trying to wrangle the flowers together.

She didn't want to apologize, well she did, but not on paper. That was a face to face discussion as were any declarations of love. She thought of simply saying she hadn't known Maura was Margaret Bisel, but that felt flat. The entire purpose was to get the Doctor to realize that Jane wasn't going anywhere and get them to a point where they could talk. Jane knew she needed to regain Maura's trust in a way that wasn't pushy. That was the hard part. Jane was pushy. It's one of the reasons she was so good at her job. Then she hit on it.

_Maura,_

_Maggie Webster was one of the first cases I worked in homicide. I felt the weight of finding justice for that little girl so much that I stayed long after Korsak had gone and the bullpen was empty. I had hit a wall and just felt tired and alone. I don't know why I headed down to the morgue. It's not like I expected anyone to be there, but saw a light on when I got off the elevator. Instead of bursting in (like I usually do) I watched through the glass. You were reverently combing her hair and talking softly to her. I found out later that you were looking for trace evidence, (Which you found and led us right to the bastard), but all I knew at the time, and what I remember most about that moment was the sense of calm and reassurance I felt. The knowledge that I wasn't the only one who cared. You cared just as much. It was right then I knew I wanted to get to know you better. I wanted to be your friend. That conviction has only grown the longer I've known you. You are important to me._

_Can we please talk? Come over or call and I will come to you._

_Jane_

She wasn't certain it was the right thing to say, but her gut told her it was a far better approach than her earlier drafts. Once decided, she slid it in the envelope and sealed it to stop herself from agonizing over it anymore. She doubted Maura would remember, but the envelope's shade of green was the same as the dress the Doctor had worn that day. It now sat tucked into the arrangement of vibrant red anemones and deep purple peonies. Jane had to admit, the small green ferns mixed in well. She had layered the tissue paper, wrapping white closest to the flowers and a green that matched the ferns more than the envelope on the outside. The ribbon was a simple light silver. If nothing else after this experience, she had a whole new appreciation for what florists actually do.

The Detective checked her cell phone, 7:02. Maura should be coming out the door any second for her typical Saturday morning run. Jane was hoping that with everything the Doctor was always saying about the benefits of running to elevate mood, she would stick to her routine. Sure enough, one minute later Maura stepped out the front door and slid in her ear buds. She took off down the street and away from where Jane was parked, the Detective's eyes following her until she was out of sight.

The plan was simple. Jane would place the flowers on the doorstep for her friend to find when she returned home. She had thought about using her key and putting them on the kitchen counter. But one, if her Ma saw them, she might pester Maura about what was going on more than Jane was already sure she has. Two, and more importantly, she didn't feel like she had the right to walk into her friend's home when they were on the outs.

The handle slipped under her sweaty fingers as the Detective tried to open the door. She took a deep breath and wiped her palms on the top of her pants before trying again. Out of the car, she circled to the passenger's side and retrieved the offering. The door slam sounded loud and out of place in the quiet neighborhood. Briskly, Jane headed over to her friend's door. She had the absurd thought that maybe she should have worn a pair of the latex gloves she kept in the glove box. Not that she was worried about prints, more about ruining the delicate paper she was gripping tightly in her once again sweaty palms. No need to feel even more like a stalker than she already did though. Once she reached the door, Jane tried to prop the flowers upright using the welcome mat to stop them from sliding. Unsuccessfully. After they toppled over for the third time, Jane set them down at a gentle diagonal. She pulled the card out a bit so Maura's name was visible then hurried back to her car.

She tripped once, looking back over her shoulder to double check the placement, then shook her head at her own ridiculousness. As Jane turned the key in the ignition, she began to have doubts. Maybe she should stick around and make sure Maura got them? No, she decided that was definitely creepy. Besides, her friend could be running for up to an hour and she had to get back to her place to let in Tommy and Jo. She pulled the car out and headed home.

Once home, Jane saw she had time for a quick shower. She made sure the volume on her cell was turned all the way up before balancing it on a towel on the corner of the sink closest to the shower. More than once, she pulled aside the curtain just to make sure she didn't miss a call or text. When she got out, she put on her favorite sweats and a t-shirt, never letting the phone out of her sight, let alone earshot.

After Tommy dropped off Jo, Jane just sat on the couch petting the small dog.

"She must have got them by now Jo." Jane worried at her lower lip. "What if she didn't get them? What if she went in through the kitchen when she got home? What if somebody stole them?" Then the worst thought of all hit her. What if she did get them and just threw them out? What if she said the wrong thing? "Jo, did I completely fuck this up?" The dog just looked at her.

The Detective felt like her muscles were vibrating with exhaustion. She still hadn't gone to bed from last night and had been running on mostly worry and adrenaline. She knew that the fatigue was making her more emotional but still she fought to stay awake. The idea of sleeping through Maura knocking or calling scared her. What if her friend thought she was blowing her off? It wasn't rational, she knew, but nothing about this was. Finally, just as her eyes were going to close whether she wanted them to or not, her phone sounded.

Jane reached forward before she realized the cell was already in her hand. It was a text from Maura. She closed her eyes and willed her breathing back to normal before clicking on the message.

_I have to finish Mr. Dryden's autopsy today. Meet at 4pm at your place?_

Jane hurriedly typed out an affirmation. Relieved, she set several alarms starting at two. She wanted time to straighten up and figure out what to say now that Maura would be listening. But all that was for when she woke up. She stretched herself out on the couch and pulled the blanket off the back to cover herself. For now, she just let her body succumb the exhaustion.

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><p>AN 2: I'm evil, I know. But since I am posting every few days, I don't feel that bad.

For those of you still curious, here is the original prompt from Tumblr that inspired this story. You can see now why I didn't post it earlier:

Maura, in addition to being the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, is actually a best selling author of "Steamy" wish fulfillment romance novels published under a pen name. She publishes a book about once a year, but the last seven or so have all had lesbian romances featuring a tall brunette with a rough, husky voice and a swagger that would make John Wayne seem girly.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jane underestimated her exhaustion. She woke at 3:30, grateful at least that she had set more than one alarm. She jumped off the couch, startling Jo, and sent the blanket cascading to the floor. Running into the bedroom she quickly got dressed in jeans and a nice v-neck t-shirt, before combing her hands through sleep tussled hair. When she walked back into the living room, sneakers in hand, she assessed the state of the apartment. It wasn't a mess, just not quite as put together as she had hoped it would be before Maura came over. She never really worried about that before with her friend, but today's visit felt decidedly different than any other time.

As she rushed around, straightening up the small area, Jane began to panic. She had spent so much thought and energy into getting to the point of open communication, that she hadn't thought of what she was going to say. It was one thing to know what she wanted to tell Maura, but quite another to know how to say it. As she was refolding the blanket to toss back over the couch, an idea struck her. She froze mid fold as she turned it over in her mind.

Since she had figured out what Maura was upset about by approaching their situation like a case, maybe the same approach could help her now. Jane talked to people in various states of emotional upheaval all the time. Maura wasn't a perp, but as the injured party, maybe look at her like a victim. Of course that would make Jane the perp, a thought so unpleasant that she found it hard to breath, so she pushed it aside as best she could. The important thing was that the Doctor felt exposed. She knew that Jane had read at least two of her books, and Maura had poured out her hopes and fantasies into them.

That's when Jane knew what she had to do. She had to offer up something of herself. The smile of realization faded as quickly as it had appeared. How? The letter had been a good start, but it wasn't nearly as personal as Maura's writings. Jane finished with the blanket and swallowed hard. Talking about how she felt was going to be hard enough without worrying her friend might not trust what she had to say or worse, thinking it was pity.

She looked around hoping the answer would just jump out at her, and when she looked over at the kitchen counter, it did. As a plan started to form in her mind, she looked over at the clock. Maura would be here any minute. Forcing herself to move calmly and deliberately, she walked into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Merlot that Maura had brought over some time ago. They never got around to opening it because her friend said the dinner that night was better paired with the white in Jane's fridge. Opening the bottle to breathe, Jane pulled down the wine glasses and sat them on the counter.

At exactly four, the sound of heals on hardwood could be heard just before a timid knock on the door. The calm she had managed to harness in the last few minutes was forgotten as Jane rushed to the door, quickly unlocking it and pulling it open. She knew it made her look eager, but she didn't care. Maura's hair fluttered forward at the ends, caught in the breeze of the door. She stood poised in a simple grey plaid dress that reminded Jane of smoke and extended just below the knees. Over it, Maura wore a fitted cardigan sweater of the deepest burgundy. She was beautiful.

When Maura looked down at the floor, Jane quickly stepped aside to allow her entrance. Balling her fists then releasing them with a long breath, annoyed at herself for making her friend wait long enough to feel self-conscious. Once she shut the door, Jane turned to see Maura standing just inside fiddling with the small pendant on her necklace. Shifting her weight back and forth like she was building up a running start, Jane finally spoke.

"Uh, thanks for coming, Maur. I admit I was a bit worried you wouldn't want to."

Maura looked up at Jane and dropped her hand to her side. "I said I would, well texted to be more precise, but still, I communicated that I would come. Why would you doubt that?" While her words and slightly higher than normal pitch conveyed her nervousness, her face gave nothing away.

Jane put her hands up in front of her body in a motion of surrender and began talking quickly. "Whoa, Maur. I wasn't doubting your word. I just meant I wasn't sure you'd want to after everything that's been going on the last few days, well week actually. That's all. I'm glad. I'm just really glad you did. I need to tell you some things." When she was done Jane took several deep breaths, having forgotten to breath when she was talking.

Some of the tension seemed to seep from Maura's shoulders but she clasped her hands together in front of herself to prevent more fidgeting. Jane hated this awkwardness between them. She knew she had to get on with her plan before it paralyzed them both. Running a hand through her hair, she motioned to the couch.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable. I have that red wine you bought. Have a seat and I'll bring you a glass."

Maura nodded and walked over to the sofa. Social graces had been ingrained in her since childhood and always afforded her comfort. Now that Jane's plan was about to go into action, she began to have doubts. But in absence of any better ideas, she gave herself a silent pep talk and walked back to her friend holding the glasses of wine and the object central to her plan tucked under her arm. As she approached, she saw a flash of fear pass through her friend's eyes as she spotted the Kindle.

After handing off the first glass, Jane took the e-reader and laid it on the coffee table between them. Taking a large sip of her wine, Jane set down her glass and looked at her friend. Maura's eyes were still glued to the offending object, her forehead creased and a slight tremble to her lower lip. Jane placed a hand on the Doctor's knee for both comfort and to get her attention.

"It's not what you think, Maura." Jane's voice was soft and her hand gently squeezed the skirt covered knee. "I'm not sure what it is you're thinking. But I brought it over to help talk about me for a minute. Not Margret Bisel."

Maura stared intently at Jane's features, when satisfied Jane was telling the truth, she nodded for Jane to continue.

"Do you remember after that one case, where one of the suspects called me big brother? That night, you spent the entire dinner telling me about Orwell's 1984, Big Brother, and double speak?' Jane was smiling caught up in the memory of the night. "You got so passionate about the idea of shrinking the dictionary as a way to control the people. You even tried to use that as an excuse for when you go all grammar police on me."

Maura smiled than shook her head. "Of course I remember, Jane. But I don't understand what this has to do with anything."

"I already knew, Maur. Not that I didn't love hearing you talk about it, but I read the book."

Maura tilted her head in confusion. "I know, you said you had to read it in high school but didn't remember much."

"I lied." Jane sighed. "It's one of my favorite books. I've read it almost a dozen times over the years."

Jane held her breath for what she said to sink in. She released it when, instead of being upset, Maura just looked more confused.

"But why, Jane?"

"It's a long story, but the short of it, is habit mostly. Look, when I was a 12, I broke my leg right before summer vacation. I hated being cooped up and there is only so much TV a kid can watch. So to get me out of the house, my ma would drop me off at the library that was next to the public pool she would take my brothers to. I read all the Nancy Drew's, Hardy Boys, and Encyclopedia Brown's that were in print, always trying to solve the mystery before they did."

Maura smiled and placed her hand on top of Jane's. "Playing Detective. Though I don't know the last one."

Jane laughed softly. "I'll tell you about them someday. He was more like you than me actually." She grew serious again, focusing on the warmth of Maura's hand. "After my leg healed, reading became my private escape. It's not like I was ashamed, just didn't want anyone's opinions on what I read. Growing up in that house there wasn't much privacy and besides, my brothers always wanted to elbow in on whatever I did."

"They looked up to you."

"I know. But I wanted something I didn't have to share, you know? Anyways, it just stayed like that for me. My thing. Do you understand?"

Maura squeezed Jane's hand. "I understand why you kept this part of you private, but why are you telling me now? Is this why you didn't tell me you were reading the books I wrote?" As she said the last bit, Maura's voice got slightly higher again and she started to pull her hand away but Jane reached out and stopped her.

"Yes and no. I mean, yes, because I don't talk about what I'm reading. But Maura, I didn't know you wrote them. I only figured it out because you got so upset."

"I want to believe you, Jane. But it seems like an awfully big coincidence. I mean, why would you read lesbian romance to start with?"

Jane took a deep breath and looked down at their intertwined hands. "Because I wanted to."

"Why Jane?"

When the Detective looked up she saw her friend's eyes pleading with her. "Because I am one. A lesbian. I'm gay, Maur."

Maura just stared at Jane unsure of how to process this information. It true Jane style, she deflected with a joke.

"Geeze, Maur. Don't go catatonic on me already. There is still a lot more I have to tell you."

Maura pulled her hand away and this time Jane let her. The pressure in Jane's chest that had lessened with her confession began to return the longer the Doctor remained silent. Maura stared down at her hands and began twisting her ring. When she spoke her voice sounded small.

"Why are you saying this, Jane? I mean, if it were true, why did you keep it from me? You have always been very insistent on your heterosexuality." She swallowed audibly. "I don't need your pity."

Everything in Jane's head was screaming at her to come completely clean. To tell Maura why she hid it from her. But as much as she was sure from the books that Maura felt the same way about her, taking that next step was terrifying. She reached out to steady Maura's hands and took a deep breath.

"I don't pity you, Maura. This is all kind of new to me."

Maura looked up, tears slowly rolling down the sides of her cheeks. "New? How new? Are you sure it has nothing to do with Margaret Bisel? I told you before, we are most attracted to those people who are attracted to us. How do you suddenly know you're gay?"

The tightness in Jane's chest had moved up to her throat it she was finding it difficult to speak. She should have just stuck to the plan. Damn Maura and her questions. Evidence. Maura needed evidence. The sound of Jo whining and scratching at the door made up the Detective's mind for her.

"Look, Maur. I get that it's hard to trust what I'm saying. And if you don't trust this, it's going to make everything else I need to tell you a whole lot harder. I promise I will tell you everything and answer any questions you might have when I get back."

Maura's head shot up and her breathing became quick in shallow. "You're leaving?!"

Pulling her hands free, Jane wrapped her arms around her friend and placed a kiss to the side of her temple. "Shhh, not like that. Relax, sweetie. I promise everything will be OK. I need to take Jo out for a quick walk and I want you to look at something while I'm out. After that, we have all night. OK?"

She didn't relax her arms until she felt Maura nod. When she pulled back, Jane used her thumbs to wipe the tears from her friend's cheeks. Only after Maura's breathing returned to normal, did Jane back away. First she picked up the Doctor's glass and handed it to her. Maura drank it quickly and Jane exchanged the empty glass for the Kindle. Before releasing it, Jane explained.

"I wanted you to look through this. Partly because I wanted to share it with you, but more to reassure you. Your books are the last ones I bought. I want you to see what I've been reading this past year. I need you to know what I'm saying is the truth."

Seeing the vulnerability in Jane's open expression, Maura fully took the Kindle from her.

"Do you want another glass of wine before I head out?" Jane asked as she stood up.

Maura cleared her throat and reached for the glass. "Yes, please."

Once Jane had handed off the wine, she squeezed her friend's shoulder. "I'll be right back"

Leash in hand, Jane headed out the door with Jo.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Sorry about the delay. This chapter took longer to get out than usual, I blame life and injury. Hopefully back on track now. To make up for it, this is the longest chapter yet. Thank you for your patience, and to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited. Enjoy.

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

Jane pulled on Jo's leash to stop her from walking around the corner. She knew Maura wasn't going to run out on her but she still felt better staying where she could see the Doctor's car. In part, her plan was working. She had leveled the playing field between them, but now Jane felt exposed. She did a quick mental catalogue of everything stored on the Kindle, scared of what her friend might think. Nothing to be ashamed of that she could remember. She felt relief that she had decided against the Lesbian Guide to Sex, in favor of a collection of erotica stories. Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. That's better? After a moment, she decided that it was better. Maura would see the erotica has healthy sexual expression, where no matter how healthy she might see the guide book, Jane didn't want her to think she needed instructions for sex.

After Jo Friday decided she needed to mark every tree twice to make up for not being permitted to circle the whole block, she finally allowed herself to be led back up to the apartment. Once inside, the little dog pranced over to her basket and Jane stalled by heading into the kitchen. Deciding to leave Maura the rest of the wine, Jane grabbed a beer before sitting down, body turned so it faced her friend. Maura was staring at the main menu and the list of collections Jane had created. When the Detective had settled on the couch, Maura looked up at her.

"Have you read all of these?"

Jane nodded. "Well, actually, I haven't finished _Safe Embrace_ and I kind of skimmed _The Effects of Salt Water Temperatures and Determination of Time of Death_."

Jane knew Maura would have looked over all the titles, including the ones in the non-fiction folder which included several of the Doctor's published papers. The way Maura narrowed her eyes at her, Jane felt like a slide under a microscope. She reached back and squeezed the back of her neck.

Head tilted to the side, Maura looked at her friend curiously. "Jane, why do have these papers?"

The Detective dropped her hand on her leg. "Because you wrote them. Like that salt water one, you came bouncing into to station that morning all excited. You said you got the idea from the Bugler case we worked together, so I found it on line and put it on the Kindle to read. Was the least I could do."

What Jane didn't say was that she had been proud of her friend, and that her papers were written in the similar style to how she talked when she would pontificate, matter of fact and confident. Jane had found it comforting and endearing to read it. Unlike the novels, where she only heard Maura's voice in place of the character that most captured her, Jane could hear Maura in every fact and footnote in the technical papers.

Maura smiled, accepting the answer and when Jane didn't continue she moved on. "I have to say I am surprised and impressed at the variety of your literature choices. I am only sad that I didn't know because I would love to discuss several of them with you. It seems you have read many of my favorites."

Jane blushed, not willing just yet to admit that she had read them because they were Maura's favorites. Whenever her friend would mention a book that was significant to her, the Detective would write it down to look into later. She hadn't read everything the blonde mentioned, especially since some were in French, but close to it. Instead she smiled shyly. "I'd like that sometime."

Satisfied for now, the Doctor set down the Kindle and watched Jane take a swig off her beer. "I noticed that you began to buy the books on sexuality when you were still with Casey. Why then?"

"That relationship kind of forced my hand, I guess." Jane began picking at the corner of the label with her thumbnail. "It's not like it never occurred to me before, I was just comfortable, I guess. So when things were supposed to be falling in place, I was able to see that they just didn't fit, you know?"

She looked up at her friend, searching her face for understanding. Jane didn't know if she wanted Maura to press her or not. They were both still unsure enough to continue to dance around the edges of what was going on, each hoping they knew where this would all lead, but afraid to be the one to say it out loud. Maura sidestepped the obvious follow-up questions but didn't change the subject.

"You have books on coming out. Have you? Come out to anyone else, that is?"

Maura would have missed the nod of Jane's head if she hadn't been looking right at her. "Oh." The word itself was soft but the hurt in her tone was deafening. Jane immediately put her beer down and reached forward to squeeze her friend's knee.

"Hey, no. It's not like that." Running her hands through her wild mane, Jane searched for the words to explain. "Frost. He's the only one and I just told him yesterday." Seriously? Was that only yesterday? It seemed like a week ago now. Seeing her friend fighting back her tears, Jane's explanation came out in a rush. "Of course I wanted to tell you first, it's always you. I thought you knew. I thought that's what you were pissed about last night, that I didn't tell you sooner or something. I thought when you saw what I was reading-" She stopped to catch her breath and get back on track. She continued at a calmer speed. "I told Frost because I needed someone to talk to after our fight. He set me straight." She stopped and chuckled. "OK, not straight really. But he made me reevaluate what I thought we were fighting about."

A look of horror crossed Maura's face and her hand came up to cover her mouth. "He knows about the books?" she asked through her fingers.

Jane's hands shot up in a stopping motion. "No. No, no, no. I didn't know when we were talking, and even if I did, I wouldn't have told him. I figured it out after I got home."

Maura's hand dropped to her chest and she fought to regain control of her breathing. Jane handed her the wineglass then replaced it on the table when Maura had finished it. Calmer, but still flushed, Maura smiled weakly at her friend.

Jane returned the smile then began fidgeting in her seat. "Maur, I know I said I'd answer all of your questions, but do you mind if I ask you one before we go on?"

Her posture being her shield, Maura straightened up before answering. "What?"

"Why did you start writing the romance novels in the first place?"

"Though in the past academia has been highly critical of the genre, recent study and critique has-"

"I didn't ask you to justify it. I know you can see that it isn't my normal fare, but I do read it. I bought three in a row." Jane gave a lop-sided grin. "I asked why you started writing it."

Maura took a second to regroup. "It started as an experiment in understanding and working out my psychological needs and trying to understand social mores better. I was feeling a bit-" She pursed her lips together as she searched for the right word. "-lost, at the time. It seemed like a safe way to explore love and intimacy. It allowed me to take control over certain desires and to better learn social cues. It's easier when I already know the feelings and intentions of both parties. With out the worry of misinterpretation-"

"You mean guessing?" Jane's teased lightly.

The permanent flush on Maura's neck since the beginning of the conversation moved up to cover her cheeks. "Yes. I find it easier to write interpersonal interactions where there is no chance in misinterpretation."

"And you can control the outcome." Jane looked at her hands, pushing at her scars.

Maura followed Jane's eyes and resisted the urge to take Jane's hands and massage them for her. "Does that bother you?" she said it so softly that Jane almost didn't hear it.

"It depends." If Jane had looked up when she replied, she would have seen the tears begin to gather in the Doctor's eyes and the slight quiver to her lower lip.

At Maura's silence, Jane asked the question she hated herself for needing to know the answer to, but her insecurities and jealousy needed to be soothed. "Do you still write straight romance novels?"

"Still?" The Doctor's voice squeaked in surprise.

They both looked up into each other's eyes at the same moment. Maura studied Jane's face. Her eyebrows were drawn together, her eyes were wide, and her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth. The Doctor could see the obvious fear that she was sure she was reflecting back. Never before has she hated her inability to guess as much as in this moment. Was fear of rejection or desire she saw? Deciding to focus on the question, Maura took a deep breath before answering.

"No. I've only written the lesbian romances since I moved back to Boston."

Jane reached over and closed her hands over Maura's. "Why?" Her voice pleading.

Maura looked away to the kitchen, but made no move to remove her hands. "Because those particular thought experiments no longer captured my attention. The subject matter-"

"-Ian."

Maura spun her head around to see the dark cloud that had overtaken her friend's features. She cleared her throat and brought one hand up to play with her pendant, leaving the other closed between Jane's.

"Yes. I found that my imagination had run it's course when it came to any fantasy meeting or future when it came to he and I."

Jane looked back at both of her hands holding on to Maura's one. "But when he was here-" her throat seemed to close against any further verbalization.

"We had a past, and things had been left unresolved. But when he came back again-"

Jane's head whipped up. "He came back again?"

Maura dropped her hand so they were a tangle of fingers again. "Yes. Last year. I told him that we could still email but that he could no longer expect anything else; in any capacity."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Other than the fact that you might have arrested him?"

Jane opened her mouth to disagree, but found she had nothing to say so she just shrugged her shoulder.

Maura smiled softly, then bit her lip in indecision before continuing. "You would have wanted to know why I ended our arrangement. And you wouldn't have accepted half-truths. You've always been a bit of a bulldog when it comes to Ian."

Jane hesitated before deciding to ease into the answer. "What half-truths would you have told me?"

"That I had changed. That I was unwilling to live like I was in a holding pattern for him. And that any help I gave him for his work could come between you and I, and that was not something I was willing to risk."

Jane gave Maura's fingers a squeeze. "And the rest?"

Maura stared at their hands, where Jane's thumbs were now slowly tracing light circles.

"That my feelings for him had changed. He was an important part of my past but not my present or future. That I was-" she paused. "That I am emotionally involved and attached to someone else. Even if she doesn't know it."

When their eyes met, both had begun to overflow with the burden of containing so much emotion for so long. Jane freed her hands and placed them on Maura's cheeks, her thumbs softly stroking over damp skin. Maura's hands slipped around Jane neck, fingers playing with the hairs at her nape. Eyes flicked between each other and lips. Like their entire relationship, their progress was slow but always towards each other. Finally, softly, their lips met.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The kiss seemed to go on for hours, maybe it did, but neither woman was willing to stop their gentle exploration to simply check the time. Finally, as if by some unspoken agreement, they slowly pulled apart. Resting their foreheads together, Jane's hands were on Maura's forearms, Maura's on Jane's knees.

Jane grimaced when the moment was broken by a loud growl emanating from her stomach. Maura gave a half smile and put her hand on her friend's cheek.

"Jane? When is the last time you ate?"

The Detective's eyes darted around, landing on the clock. "Uh, sometime this morning?" It wasn't a lie. 4am was this morning, and she had been able to get down a couple of bites before she gave up.

"Why do I have the feeling that you are lengthening the truth?" Maura asked.

Jane rolled her eyes. "It's stretching the truth, Maur. And maybe because I am, just a little."

"Well, why don't you order a pizza? I ate lunch, but it's now past 7."

"Pizza? Isn't that a bit unhealthy, Dr. Isles?"

Maura looked down at her hands, some of her earlier shyness returning. "I missed our movie night this week. Besides-" confidently she looked back up at Jane. "-when do I ever let you order pizza without getting a salad as well?"

Jane chuckled as she stood up. "Half pepperoni, half mushroom and two Caesar Salads it is then."

Heading to the kitchen where she had left her phone after walking Jo, Jane called in the order and started to grab plates and napkins for when the food arrived. The plates had been a long ago compromise between the two women. Jane had insisted that you ate pizza in front of a TV and Maura had insisted that if they were going to eat on the couch, she needed some form of protection from grease dripping on her clothes. Dropping them off on the coffee table, she picked up her warm beer from earlier and dumped it in the sink. Jane was so caught up in the refreshing routine of it all, that it wasn't until she returned to the living room the second time she noticed the far off look on Maura's face.

Unable to read her friend's expression, Jane nervously set down the fresh beer and what remained of the wine bottle. As much as she hated talking about her feelings, it was more unsettling to not know where she stood. And not knowing where she stood with Maura was terrifying. So not to startle her friend, Jane sat down gently, reaching over to tenderly squeeze Maura's bicep.

"Maur? Care to let me into that big brain of yours?"

Despite Jane's best efforts, Maura seemed startled by her presence. The Doctor looked down at her hands clasped tightly on her lap. Jane could feel the panic start to rise in her chest. Refusing to meet Jane's eyes, Maura started to speak softly.

"The things I said when I saw what you were reading. You just stood there. When I asked if that was why you were pulling away. You-" She shook her head and attempted to start again. "You took the time to figure out why I was upset. What I thought was going on. But I'm not very good at that. I don't understand why you didn't yell back. It seemed like you were agreeing with me."

"Because I was."

Maura's head whipped up and the tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now. "But I thought you said-" She drew in a deep breath. "I don't understand."

Jane sighed loudly. "We weren't exactly having the same conversation."

Maura tilted her head in confusion and Jane got up and started to pace by the side of the couch.

"I didn't know you wrote those-" Her hand waved vaguely in the direction of the Kindle. "-books. All I knew was that they made you upset."

"But if you didn't know I wrote them, why were you pulling away? I don't understand, Jane." The last part was quieter, laced more with sadness than confusion.

Jane just wanted to go back to when they were kissing. All had felt right with the world for the first time in months, but she knew her friend deserved to know where she stood as well. Running her hands through her hair in defeat, Jane sat back down on the couch and reached out for Maura's hands. The Detective was unsure she was able to say what she needed to if she looked at Maura's eyes, so she kept her gaze fixed on their intertwined fingers.

"Being honest with myself about who I am, meant that it was harder not to be honest about other things and people in my life as well. Like Casey, and you. I think-" Jane met Maura's gaze. "Don't take this the wrong way, Maur, but I think I would have figured out I was gay years ago if it wasn't for you."

Maura made a sharp exhalation and tried to pull away, but Jane held fast to her hands and just continued with her explanation.

"Stop. You didn't do anything wrong. It was me. I wasn't ready to deal with these-" pulling one hand free, Jane motioned between the two of them as she searched for the right word. "-feelings. It was like being straight was my armor against having to think about what I really felt for you, what I really wanted from you, maybe even what I was willing to give you. I was safe. Do you understand?"

Both sets of eyes were transfixed on their hands. Maura's voice was soft and shaking.

"You haven't told me exactly what it is you feel for me. I don't want to assume, Jane. You know that makes me very uncomfortable."

Jane swallowed thickly. She knew there wouldn't be a more perfect moment. Her heart was beating so hard and fast that she was vibrating, insulated by its sound in her ears, it's force in her throat, and it movement in her chest. She was so scared that she couldn't have come up with a single sarcastic comment even if she wanted to. This realization seem to propell her. Pulling her hands free, she lifted Maura's chin with her fingers until their eyes met.

"I'm in love with you, Maur. You mean the world to me. So much that I was willing to suffer in silence to keep you in my life. If all I could have was your friendship, I considered myself lucky. I was afraid to lose that. To lose you."

Maura surged forward and captured Jane's lips. Where their first kiss had been sweet and tentative, this felt almost desperate, needy. After a few moments, Maura pulled away. Jane could still feel the heat on her lips and the burning in her chest, but the look of uncertainty that returned to Maura's face stopped her from moving forward to continue their kiss. Chewing on her bottom lip, she waited.

"But why then did you pull away? What about the books scared you?"

Jane's laughed and shook her head. "The books didn't scare me. They uh-" She could feel the heat covering her face. "You are-" she licked her lips. "-uh, very explicit in several scenes. And just because I didn't know you wrote them doesn't mean I didn't notice how alike we were to the characters."

Maura tilted her head. "And that made you uncomfortable?"

Jane looked down at her lap and smiled. "Only in the best ways."

"Then why would you distance yourself from me?"

Jane sighed and looked up at the Doctor's face. Seeing only love and genuine curiosity, she continued.

"Because Maura, I spent the past year trying to hide how I felt. Hide my reactions to those ridiculously sexy dresses and heals you wear, and all of a sudden I was having trouble controlling it. I thought you figured it out and were uncomfortable. That's why you were starting to-" Jane stopped and suddenly cocked her head to the side. "Hey wait. I wasn't the only one pulling away. You did too. Why?"

Maura licked her lips and smiled lightly. "My reasons were similar to yours, I was afraid of losing our friendship. I should have noticed your extra attentiveness, but I didn't. I was too focused on the allusions you made to the plots of my books. I thought you had discovered them and were hinting that you knew. Then when I saw your kindle on the table with my secrets spelled out-"

"Why did you look?" Jane's voice was small but held no anger.

"I didn't really think. It's not like I made a conscious decision, it was already turned on with the text on the page. I felt foolish, rejected."

Jane bowed her head and began to push on the scars on her palms. Sudden realization hit Maura and she gasped audibly. Placing her hand on the Detective's cheek, she guided her face up until brown eyes met hazel.

"That's what you thought, isn't it? You thought I was rejecting you."

Jane's eyes gave all the affirmation she needed.

"Oh, Jane. I would never. Especially not for being gay."

Jane gave a weak smile. Her anger had dissipated the night before, but her insecurities, no matter how irrational, remained. Maura held her friend's face, thumbs lightly running back and forth.

"I am so sorry to ever give you cause to doubt the unconditional nature of our friendship. I love you, Jane. Even if I didn't love you romantically, I would never reject you for something as trivial as your sexual orientation."

Jane smirked. "Trivial, huh?"

Maura smiled back. "Well, in this case, not such a trivial detail."

As their lips came together for the third time that evening, a loud knock resounded from the front door. Maura began to pull away but Jane chased her, continuing the kiss. Maura laughed into Jane's mouth.

"It's the food, Jane."

"Maybe they'll go away."

The knocking could be heard again, louder this time.

Maura gently pushed on Jane's shoulders, succeeding on disengaging their mouths. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, Maura leaned in again and kissed the tip of Jane's nose.

"We need to eat. We might need our energy later."

"Well, when you put it that way." Jane smiled rakishly and jumped up to answer the door.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed. Now back to the story.

Chapter 14

They had only made it halfway through dinner without touching each other. There was no TV on this time, both were much more interested in watching each other and sneaking in smiles between bites. Jane's body was twisted to face Maura with one leg on the floor the other on the couch bent at the knee. Maura sat with both legs tucked under her with a grace that belied the lumpy cushions. The atmosphere was charged with new intent, yet seemed to have retained it's usual familiarity.

Synchronized, they each finished their current slice and set down their plates. Maura rose up and gently wiped the corner of the Detective's mouth with a napkin, then followed with her mouth to plant a chaste kiss. Smiling, Jane reached out and held her head in place at the back of her neck and moved in for a far less chaste kiss. Pulling Maura in and off balance, Jane leaned forward to put her beer on the table and then pull the Doctor onto her lap.

Gone are the tentative first kisses, even the sweet exploratory ones, their mouths begin to express a need. A need for each other and a need to follow the emotional intimacy of earlier with physical expression. As Jane kissed down the column of Maura's neck she slid her sweater off , blindly flinging it on the back of the couch. Even in her haze of arousal she was conscious of not throwing Maura's clothes onto the floor.

With her right arm holding Maura's thigh and ass to keep her secure, Jane begins to place kisses across the newly exposed area above Maura's breasts. She is spurred on by the low moan she feels more than hears. For her part, the Doctor has one hand tangled in her Jane's hair, the other snaking down Jane's back, the v-neck granting her just enough access to rake her nails up the skin Jane's spine. As their mouths meet again in what is becoming a frenzy of tongues and lips, Jane begins feeling around Maura's back for any indication of a zipper without luck.

Maura slides her hands to Jane's shoulders , kissing down her throat before she pushes herself off Jane's lap and stands. Before Jane can voice her protest, Maura reaches out her hand and smiles seductively.

"I think we need a change in venue."

Maura leads them into the bedroom and turns on the bedside lamp. Turning back to face the Detective, she motions for her to stop just a few feet away. Jane's shoulders rise and fall with her ragged breathing, her eyes dark with desire and fixed on the woman in front of her.

Slowly, Maura slides the zipper on the side of the dress down from under her arm to just below her hip. Using her fingers, she begins to slide the dress up, gathering the fabric in her hands until she is holding the hem. Then, she slowly lifts it up and over her head, dropping it off to the side maintaining eye contact with Jane, not wanting to miss a single reaction. Maura has never been shy about her body and other people's reactions to it, but nothing in her experience has prepared her for the naked want and awe written all over the woman facing her right now.

Jane stares in wonder at the beautiful woman before her in matching satin bra and panties that are almost the same exact shade of burgundy as her sweater. She smiles at the amount of thought this woman puts into everything, including those things she doesn't expect anyone else to see. She approaches slowly but with confidence, pulling the blonde in for a modest kiss before turning her attention the newly exposed skin.

Placing her hands on Maura's shoulders she gently turns her around and kisses the back of her neck. Maura's head falls forward and she lets out a small whimper as her lover slides her hands around to gently stroke her stomach while dropping light kisses over her neck and upper back. As Jane nears the clasp of the Doctor's bra, she drags her nails up over the dips of Maura's waist and up to unfasten it. Pushing the flimsy garment off and to the floor, Jane's hands return to Maura's stomach and slide up until they are gently cupping generous breasts in her hands.

"Jane"

As Maura voices her approval she pushes herself back, reaching for Jane's hips to pull their bodies into one another. Jane begins to kiss and lightly nip at Maura's neck and shoulders, her hair falling forward lightly tickling. Calloused hands begin to lift and massage soft breasts but making no attempt to touch hard nipples yet. She has waited too long to rush and fumble through, Jane wants to experience every step, every new sensation. But she has underestimated Maura's desire.

The doctor turns around in her arms and leans in to give her a scorching kiss, grabbing the ends of Jane's shirt and pulling it off, tossing it in the direction of her dress on floor. Maura gives Jane a brilliant smile, one she has seen before but never dared to hope what it could mean. As she reaches around to begin to unfasten Jane's bra, Jane is rewarded with her first true look of Maura's breasts. She is so captivated by the sight, that she is slow to realize that her jeans are being unbuttoned and unzipped until she feels them being forced over her hips. She leans in and kisses the Doctor, lightly pushing her onto the bed. As Maura scoots up towards the center, Jane finishes removing her jeans and socks before climbing on to join her.

Legs entwining, both women let out low moans as first their naked torsos come together, then their lips and tongues. Pulling each other closer, both sets of hands are sliding over every bit of bare skin they can reach, their hips rocking into each other seeking more contact. Jane has the driving need to feel more, touch more, taste more. Now that she has finally gotten here with Maura, it's still not close enough. Pulling away from the kiss, Jane begins to make her way roughly down Maura's neck. As she bites down on the Doctor's pulse point, the sudden need to mark her, both as a way of laying claim and as a souvenir of the event itself overwhelms her. Maura whimpers and thrusts her hips, her hand holding Jane's head in place.

Her need only spurred on by this action, Jane pulls back and looks Maura in the eyes. She feels so much, she's not sure she can contain it all.

"Maur, I-" she stops, knowing she has no words for where she is right now.

Maura's eyes are shining with unshed tears. The love in them is obvious, but so is the raw lust. Pulling Jane's head down so their foreheads are resting together, Maura closes her eyes for a second, allowing some tears to escape, before looking back up into Jane's.

"I know, Jane. I know. I'm right here with you."

Jane surged forward, pouring everything she was feeling into the kiss. Sliding down her love's body now, she greedily palms the breasts she has spent so long admiring. Feeling their weight, she runs the pads of her thumbs over hard nipples. Maura moans her name and thrusts her center into Jane's stomach, the heat and moisture of it sends a corresponding sense of urgency through Jane. Rolling a distended nub between her left thumb and fingers, she engulfs the other nipple in her hot mouth, swirling around it with her tongue. Jane would have heard Maura's deep moan had it not been drowned out by her own.

Jane felt a surge of pride mixing in with desire. Proud of how Maura was writhing beneath her, of the symphony of whimpers and moans that her friend was releasing. She had never been more turned on, or more present during sex than she was right now. Switching her mouth to Maura's other breast, she lost herself in the new sensations and utter joy she was bringing the other woman. She looked up at the almost pained sounding call of her name.

"Jane. Pl-please. I need you."

It took Jane a few seconds to understand what was being asked. She pulled herself up and kissed Maura hard before slipping back down her body. Placing a kiss on each nipple as she passed, she continued down, kissing and touching as much skin as possible on the way. Bypassing the area still covered in panties for the moment, Jane kisses the insides of Maura's thighs, slowly working her way back to where they both want her most. Stopping over the moisture soaked material, she pauses and inhales the strong scent of arousal. When she places a kiss onto the fabric, Maura lets out a deep moan and her hips shoot up slamming into Jane's face. Jane laughs lightly before looking up into Maura's pleading eyes.

"Jane please. Don't tease. I need you, baby."

The unexpected term of endearment makes Jane's stomach flip and she grabs the edges of the panties and begins to slide them down. She sits up just enough to remove them, before kissing Maura's legs as she settles back between them. She has wanted this for so long to know what it would be like to go down on another woman, to taste Maura. She knows she should feel nervous, and part of her is, but more than anything she is determined to bring Maura as much pleasure as she possibly can. She is a creature of instinct, and so far her instincts proved good.

Placing her hands on Maura's hips, to hold her place , she looks up into her lover's eyes as she extends her tongue down for her first taste. She dips it inside Maura's opening before slowly dragging it up and flicking it over her swollen clit.

"OHHH, Jaaaaannnnnne."

Maura is panting and rocking her hips. Spurred on and enthralled by the taste and texture, Jane continues to explore with her tongue. Soon she begins to focus almost solely on Maura's clit, sucking gently and rhythmically stroking it. She is fascinated by how she can feel Maura's moans and heartbeat in her mouth, drawing pleasure from every word and whimper.

"Jane." Maura waits until Jane's eyes meet hers. "I. I need you inside me."

However aroused Jane thought she had been up to that moment doubled. That was the most erotic thing she had ever heard. Slipping her left hand from thrusting hip, she slowly slid two fingers into Maura's center. She moaned at the intimate sensation of being entirely surrounded by the woman she loves. The combination of Jane entering her and her deep moan on her clit was enough to bring Maura to the precipice of orgasm.

"Jane. Yes. I'm almost-"

Determined to push Maura over the edge, Jane curled her fingers and pumped slowly in and out of her while redoubling her efforts on her clit. Soon she felt Maura's walls clamping down on her fingers as the orgasm rolled through her body. Maura's back arched off the bed and a series of sounds mixed with what sounded like Jane's name were ripped from her throat. Jane placed a last, gentle kiss on Maura's swollen clit and slowed her hand. As she waited for Maura's body to relax fully, she placed kisses wherever she could reach. Satisfied, she withdrew her fingers and climbed back up Maura's body where she pulled the spent woman into her arms.

"I love you, Maur." Jane kissed the semi-conscious woman on the forehead. She smiled as Maura tried to mumble it back before quickly falling to sleep. Laying awake for a short time after, just petting Maura's arm and replaying the whole day over in her mind, Jane realized she had never been this happy and content. Being able to finally love Maura Isles was pure joy.

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><p>AN So there you go. After the last few chapters and a wait to update, over 2000 words and virtually no dialogue. Hope you enjoyed.


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